


If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake

by raynos



Series: Mercy [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Birthday Party, F/M, Jumping Out of a Cake, Making Out, Organized Crime, Playboy Bunny Suit, Undercover, literal title is literal, the playbunny thing was not just a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9499802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynos/pseuds/raynos
Summary: "If it isn't the bunny from the bar."  Later Nick might chew his friends out for a joke taken too far, but for now he had to admit he was curious about the bunny who'd introduced herself as Hopps.  "Is this why you didn't invite me back to your place?  I admit a cake is a little squeezy, but I would have made it work somehow.""You can't be here!" Hopps spluttered, wrapping her arms around herself as if that would help cover her bared shoulders.  Her top hat probably had more material than her teddy.(Mafia AU) A bunny jumping out of Nick's birthday cake in front of Mr Big is the worst idea Nick's friends have come up with.  Especially when the bunny is wearing a Playbunny outfit.  Especially when she turns out to be Judy Hopps.He's gotta get the story behind this.





	

Everyone in the mob knew Koslov liked parties. When a higher up liked parties - even if they weren't the head honcho, even if they weren't Mr Big - that meant any occasion was a party. Festive holidays. Business mixers. Birthdays. Especially birthdays.

Since running with Mr Big, Nick had suffered through a good number of Koslov-mandated birthday parties. He might have a chance of surviving his own birthday party this year, if not for his friends. The friends who bet on a bunny in a bar. The friends who were convinced he was still hung up over that bunny. The friends who were convinced that having a bunny jump out of his birthday cake was the best joke ever.

Nick might need to trade them in for a new set that didn't have such madcap ideas. He was trying to convince Finnick while en route to the party why the cake was a terrible idea. Yeah, Finn might dress up in an elephant onesie in his free time, but he was easier to talk to than Honey.

"Look, I'm really not hung up on the bunny."

Finnick snorted at Nick's extremely reasonable statement. Tundratown was a black and white blur outside due to the late hour and driving speeds that probably weren't safe without a snowchain. Finnick was unconcerned about the van fishtailing through turns, his tone bored as he said, "Sure, except for the part where you couldn't shut up about her."

"I was just exercising my bragging rights. I won the bet, didn't I? Any references to the bunny in the bet were purely coincidental."

"It sounded more like you were bragging about her rather than your own skills."

"I'm sorry, I think you just couldn't hear me over the sound of your money paying for my drinks," said Nick as he tweaked the tip of Finnick's ear, only for his paw to be promptly batted away.

"Keep your grubby paws to yourself before I snap every single one of your digits."

"You'd do that to your best bud?" Nick pouted on principle, knowing that he was going to be ignored.

"I don't pal around with guys who make their buddies pay for their girls' drinks."

"Has she been back to the bar to pick up her free drinks? No she hasn't. You aren't out of any money. And that just proves my point. She's just a one night stand I'll never see again. Nothing to get hung up over, am I right?"

"For most mammals? That sounds about right. You? Eh, I wouldn't bet on it."

"You know, I'm just going to stop you right there."

"Oh yeah?" Finnick was more interested in the turn he was now skidding through.

"Yeah, maybe the one night stand seems like a big deal because you're making it a big deal. This isn't the first time I've had a good time with a girl. But just as I'm about to forget bam! My friends start calling where we hang out that bar where you met the bunny. Try and pick up another girl? Hey I think the bunny is cuter! Need to get me a birthday present? Let's get a bunny to jump out of your cake, that's not going to bring up anything. Does any of that sound familiar to you?"

"You left out the bit where bringing up the bunny never fails to get a rise out of you. Free entertainment, all we gotta do is add popcorn."

"I left it out because what you just described never happened."

"Just like how you talking my ear off in the last five minutes with all your gabbing about the bunny never happened."

"Uh huh. That was _you_ gabbing about the bunny, just like all the other examples I brought up."

"I got an example for you. Who's the one keeping tabs on whether the bunny's been by to pick up her end of the deal? It ain't me or Honey. You keep craning your neck as you do at the bar, Nicky, you gonna turn into a giraffe."

"Pass. Have you ever seen a giraffe look good as good as I do in a suit?" Nick gestured to his usual outfit when he was anywhere near Mr Big - full suit and tie, the most flattering cut and material. "Giraffes are too stretched out to fit anything, I would never risk looking that awkward. Not that you care about that."

Finnick's suit might have been nice at some point, but despite the cold he'd tossed his jacket in a crumpled pile at the back of his van. He'd even rolled up his sleeves, putting deep creases in the dress shirt that probably had never come into contact with an iron.

"Even my momma wasn’t as naggy as you are. Don't do that to the suit, Finn. Don't put a bunny in the cake. Don't drive so fast in snow."

"You know I'm right about the suit, you ever wonder if I'm right about the rest?"

"Nope. Cos I've already got your ass to your party in one piece, so quit your backseat driving."

Mr Big's house was indeed looming in front of them with its usual polar bear sentry ready to turn away any strange cars. Finnick's distinctive van was their ID. Kevin glanced between the artwork and the two foxes before unhooking the chain to let them in.

If Nick had a choice - and it seemed he had very little choice around here - they would be having the party anywhere else that wasn't Mr Big's place. But the way things worked in the mob was that you went to Mr Big. You didn't make Mr Big come to you, even if you were Koslov. There were lots of things Mr Big wasn't big on, and that included leaving his house.

Mr Big, however, was big on hospitality. The roomy garage that Finnick had driven the van into was just the start. While Finnick was struggling with his jacket, Nick popped the door to let in the heat from the garage, set a few degrees more comfy than the rickety heater in Finnick's van. He wouldn't have known he was in the depths of Tundratown if it hadn't been for the snow sliding down the van door. He yanked his paw away before the snow splattered on him.

Finnick on the other side slammed his door hard enough to send even more snow spilling down the sides of the van. "Let's go, we're late enough."

"Fashionably late."

"If fashion means taking forever in the bathroom like a prissy princess, leave me out of it. I bet they're all waiting."

They were, the first being Raymond right at the garage door. He was recognisable right off the bat because he'd never quite gotten the hang of smiling without fang. That was great when he was acting as muscle, and bad when he was just being friendly. "Wilde. Even the cake got here before you did."

"Let's not keep the cake waiting any longer then," Nick replied, and Raymond's grin widened to show more pointed teeth before he pulled the door to the house open.

Past the doorway, the serviceable concrete and asphalt of the garage were switched out for wooden walls and stone flooring in a cultivated version of a winter forest. Rugs kept paws off the cold of the stone, though enough fireplaces were going that Nick felt the temperature tick up a few more notches as he and Finnick ventured further into the house.

The warmth of the environment was matched by the warmth of their greeting. A cheer went up as the three of them entered the party room proper. Nick found himself returning well-wishes as he shook paws of all shapes and sizes, losing Raymond and Finnick in the crowd. When the crowd thinned out again Nick had reached the other end of the room where Mr Big and Koslov were waiting.

Nick had been to enough shindigs to know the protocol for greetings. He went right up to Mr Big, who was already holding out his paw in anticipation. The table Mr Big had chosen was just a little low that a mammal the height of a fox still had to bend to kiss the ring. "Happy birthday, Nicky," said Mr Big with all the gravitas of a pope bestowing his blessing. "Gram-mama knew you didn't have anybody to help you cook a proper dish for your birthday, so she made you cannoli."

"Why thank you, sir, that was so kind. Is the madam around for me to give her my thanks in person?"

Mr Big was already waving the idea off. "I'll pass it on."

That done, Nick had to go to the other extreme – craning his neck to look up at Koslov at his full height. Backlit by the warm lights, it was hard to read Koslov's expression. The finger jab was a lot more unmistakable, as was Koslov's growled, "You."

"Me." Nick tugged his lapels straight. He hadn't gotten on Koslov's bad side lately, but it was always good to be cautious about a few thousand pounds of polar bear.

"What is wrong with you? You don't have a drink." A nearby polar bear shoved a glass into Nick's paw as Koslov raised his to Nick. "Za tvoye zdorovy!"

Nick downed the shot at the same time as Koslov downed his, and regretted not checking what the drink was first. His glass had been filled with vodka that banished the last of the cold from his trip, and also caused him to blank on what were the next toasts Koslov had roared out. He mimicked the crowd and downed enough shots that by the time the cake arrived, he was prepared to laugh along with the rest. Finnick had somehow found his way through the crowd for a front row seat to his free entertainment, complete with a glass that dwarved Nick's shot glass when Finnick clinked them together. "Someone's moving up. Cannoli from Gram-mama."

"There'll be cannoli at your birthday, Finn."

"Let's make it that far. Here's to surviving another year, Nicky."

"Here's to surviving the next five minutes," said Nick, and downed his shot before squaring up to the cake being rolled in. It was a white and green monstrosity large enough to hide even the artic vixens that were serving at Mr Big's table. He wondered how much of it was edible and how much of it was bunny.

He got his answer pretty quickly. The flower festooned cake had barely come to a stop when a bunny in a top hat and a racy outfit burst out of the top. As jaunty party music played she threw her arms up in a victory pose as if she'd finished a difficult set of gymnastics instead of simply emerging from a cake. She looked out over the crowd, before her purple eyes finally settled on Nick standing at the bottom of her cake.

Nick couldn't help his grin that was growing along with Hopps' dawning realisation. "Well, if it isn't the bunny from the bar." Later he might chew his friends out for a joke taken too far, but for now he had to admit he was curious about the bunny who'd introduced herself as Hopps. "Is this why you didn't invite me back to your place? I admit a cake is a little squeezy, but I would have made it work somehow."

"You can't be here!" Hopps spluttered, wrapping her arms around herself as if that would help cover her bared shoulders. Her top hat probably had more material than her teddy.

"It's a bit hard to have a birthday party without a birthday boy, and you're looking at him," said Nick, tugging on his tie and giving a satisfied wiggle. "Look, as charming as it is to talk up to you, a cake is no balcony. If you come down, I can introduce you to my buddy, you remember him from the bar?"

Hopps wasn't willing to wait for an introduction - she had already clambered out of the cake. Nick held a paw up to help her off the table, which she ignored in favour of jumping over the two foxes in an impressive jump that cleared half the room.

Nick whistled. "I forgot I liked those legs. And those fishnets don't hurt either."

"I didn't need to know you like women who could crush you with their thighs, Nicky." Finnick plucked Nick's drink from his paw. "Save me from your whining about missing her and catch up before she gets away."

"Who did you say was the nag again?" Nick shot over his shoulder as he followed in Hopps' wake.

She was easy enough to spot – the white tuft of her rabbit tail showed up against the black of her teddy with its fake tuxedo tails and the black of the suits around her. Nick was enjoying the view a lot more than dodging large mammals who were really letting loose now that the guest of honour had finally arrived. A few times, he had to step over paws in his path, or dart around legs walking between Hopps and himself.

Then Hopps made an abrupt turn and the white of her tail disappeared from view. Only familiarity with Mr Big's house let Nick guess that she was heading to the corridor that led to the rest of the house.

Instead of following Hopps, he went with the flow of the crowd and made it through the same door just moments after she did. The door slamming behind him cut out the sound and light of the party. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness punctuated by the lone light at the end of the corridor, he called out, "Carrots!"

When his eyes could see in the dark, he was surprised by the rounding of her shoulders and the clench of her fists. She'd been annoyed in the bar when he'd called her Carrots, though being this annoyed was a first. He edged towards where she stood in the hallway with her back to him, easing his reception with a tease, "I know you're dying to get me alone, but it's still a bit early in the party."

Instead she whirled on him to jab a claw tip in his tie. "So you thought it was funny for a mobster to pick someone up at a cop bar? You said you were sincere, but you were lying. You liar!"

"Hey, Carrots, you're going to wreck my nice tie. I want to get back to the party without looking too ravished."

The sound of her thumping foot echoed off the wooden walls and stone floor. "If you think your smarmy pick-up lines are still going to work after lying to me for your bets and your scams – "

"It's called a hustle, sweetheart. And I'm not the liar, you are."

The thumping stopped as she froze faster than a pawpsicle in Tundratown snow. "W-what?"

"Yeah, I heard you tell that elephant server that you were a cop, well, I'm pretty sure what you actually have is a cop costume to go with your current get up. Mmm, but Playbunny does suit you though. I'm not sure which I like better – the top hat and the cuffs, or the collar with bow tie and all that nice grey fur above your teddy. You'll have to show me your cop costume at some point to let me decide which is better, Officer Fluff."

The mention of bared fur had Judy's arms go protectively around herself as if that would somehow increase the amount of material her teddy had. But each time Nick mentioned a cop costume, her scowl deepened. Calling her Officer Fluff was the last straw that had her jabbing her finger at him again.

"I am a cop. And I'm on a mission to find evidence to bring down the crime boss Mr Big and his associates _and_ that means mammals like you, so you can insult me all you want, I'm going to bring down you and this mob even if it's the last thing I do."

He lifted her paw so her claw wasn't digging into his chest. "Rabbit, that is not something you joke about at the best of times, and definitely not when you're in a Playbunny suit around the most feared crime boss in town. What are you going to do, have them follow your cute fuzzy wuzzy tail behind bars?"

With her free paw, she reached under her tuxedo tails to draw out a pair of handcuffs that she dangled in his face. The tuxedo tails must have hidden a belt or some pockets, though he wondered at her choice in equipment.

"Are these for me, darling? Because unless I changed my species to tiger, they're a little too big for a fox. And I'm going to assume you're an amateur who doesn't know playtime cuffs should be padded. But if you're trying to arrest anyone in the next room you're going to have to apologise to the poor polar bears for cutting off their blood circulation."

"So you've been in cuffs often enough to know all about them, huh?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, officer. If I can call you that."

At his remark, Hopps yanked her paw free of his grasp to tug the top hat off her head.

"Wait. Let me guess." Nick dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You're pulling _another_ bunny from the hat."

She jabbed her paw into the hat to pull out something that glinted in the only light in the corridor. For a magic trick, it was kind of shabby – the shiny trinket in her hand was a police badge.

Real or fake – the Vesper boys had been running an extortion gig where their ZPD badges looked just like the original – waving a badge around Mr Big was a one way ticket to an icy grave. Nick clapped his paws around the badge to hide it, not caring that Hopps' paw was still clutching the badge, and looked around for cameras.

"Hey! Are you trying to steal my badge?"

"Steal your – Why would I steal your badge? If you're a police officer, you should have been briefed that Mr Big does not _like_ cops. So quit waving that around!"

"I will when you stop trying to steal it, you thief!"

"Ha! That's right, insult the mammal who's trying to save your life."

"I don't need you to – "

Nick wasn't listening, because someone from the party was entering the corridor. It wouldn't do for whoever it was to spot the badge. As the light from the party flooded the corridor, he backed Hopps against the nearest wall and kissed her.

It was their first surprise kiss in the bar all over again. Their lips met awkwardly from the abruptness that Nick had pulled them together. But Hopps settled into the kiss with an ease they'd had a whole night to perfect. A night that was rushing back into Nick's memory and tempted him with images he'd love to recreate.

The more rational part of Nick's mind recognised the polar bear as Raymond from the teeth in his grin. But Raymond's reaction dimmed in importance to the livewire of Hopps' kiss that was sending currents of pleasure all through Nick. He chased that connection, seeking contact points all over their bodies that Hopps pressed into.

Raymond got the hint – the door closed again. The sound of the door shutting startled Hopps out of their kiss. When she touched her lips as if recalling that electricity Nick had to follow in the wake of fingers and kiss her again. He much preferred this way of getting in each other's faces, and from the enthusiasm that Hopps was kissing back he thought she did too.

All the fur he was feeling reminded Nick what outfit Hopps was wearing. He pulled back to remark, "So I don't know if anyone told you, but today's my birthday."

Hopps let out a huff of exasperation. "It's probably about the first thing you told me."

"So, can I have a present?" He settled for wheedling and kept his paws to the relatively safe zone of her waist. He could be classy, if the situation called for it.

"Doesn't it bother you that I'm a cop?"

"The jury's still out on that, sweetheart."

She shoved him and Nick wondered how it had been so nice to hold her with all the steel in her spine. "Then you won't mind if this not-a-cop did what she was sent here to do and looked around."

"Carrots, I know you don't get too many crime bosses out in the country, but crime bosses don't like mammals of any kind wandering around where they don't belong. Why don't you go back to your cake? Carrots? Carrots!"

Hopps wasn't listening, already wandering down the corridor in the opposite direction of the party. She had put everything away and jammed her hat with its secrets back on her head as she went. The smart thing to do now would be to pretend he didn't know anything and go back to the party.

But the part of Nick that wanted to believe his joking around with Finnick, Honey and even the polar bear soldiers was real friendship, the part that said he was more than the mafia, the part that always hurt the most after break-ups, that part prodded Nick to trail after Hopps and see how he could head her off.

"Do you even know what you are looking for?"

"I'll know it when I see it."

"In the dark? Besides the party, the rest of the house isn't occupied right now. And I will betcha you can't see too well in the dark."

She reached under her tuxedo tails again and pulled out her phone to click on the flashlight on her phone. "I guess someone was just too _old_ to realise mammals have invented flashlights."

"Congratulations, you just advertised your current position in flashing neon lights. Or I suppose you only warrant a flashlight. Do you even know where you're going, rabbit?"

"Anywhere away from you sounds like a start."

She wasn't wearing a wire – he'd gotten close enough to feel that out, though he wasn't sure if it was because she wasn't a cop or she had heard the stories of what happened to wired mammals around Mr Big. Either way, that gave Nick the confidence to dangle his lure. "That's a pity, because I was just thinking of walking into this room, full of _incriminating evidence_ , you'll probably leave wondering how did I _miss_ this?"

"How would you even know where to go?"

"Sly fox, dumb bunny. That's why I have more of a clue than you do."

He took the next turn, banking that even a whiff of a lead would send her chasing after him. In 3... 2... 1... anytime now...

The patter of bunny feet had him smirking to himself. He had enough of a headstart that by the time she got to him, he'd had time to wipe the smirk off his face.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

"Come with me and you'll find out."

With the additional light from the flashlight he could see her ears had gone down in annoyance. Yet she still trailed after him.

As they ventured closer to the destination Nick had in mind, the temperatures started to drop again. At these temperatures, Mr Big was able to maintain decorations of snow and ice. Most of it had been left natural, with only a few ice sculptures in selected corners.

Yet snow coated the ledges and piled in the corners of the room that Nick stopped in. Hopps had maintained an expression of disinterest, but the perked tips of her ears and the eager way she leaned around Nick to get a better look at the room gave her away. Nick gestured her to the centre of the room, while he was content to stand by as she took in the room in its entirety.

She still looked to him as if expecting a clue, which gave him a chance to smirk at her. "If you're really an officer, shouldn't you be able to do police work? Finding the evidence should be easy."

Nick's careless comment had Hopps tapping her foot against the wooden floor. The acoustics were really rather impressive. He was almost sorry when her foot thumping slowed. When she started tapping parts of the floor, he called out, "You know, you can't burrow into a stone floor."

"That's it! The rest of the house and most of this room has stone slabs for the floor. This part?" She tapped the rug beneath her feet to create a sound akin to pounding on a door, which set her to grinning. "This part is wood. There's gotta be a reason for that. A room full of incriminating evidence you said?"

"Might want to take a look at your evidence first."

She flipped the rug easily. The wooden inset was a little harder – her rabbit fingers could get under the edge, but she couldn't lift the board as easily as a polar bear could. It took a leap ending in a backflip for her to flip the wooden cover off.

Nick made sure to drag out his clapping as he came over. "Very nice, have you considered joining the circus?"

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm pretty sure I heard that joke from a bozo in a clown suit, so you're a better fit than I am."

"Careful now, rabbit. If you lean any further over that hole, your dreams of joining the circus won't be the only thing put on ice." Hopps had leaned in close enough to the newly uncovered hole in the ice for her breath to mist. Nick peered over her shoulder to see what had caught her attention, and saw nothing but cloudy water. "That is why you don't go snooping around Mr Big's house, or you'll end up down there. Alright, tour's over, now you’ve been warned let's get back to the party."

"So Mr Big just drops mammals and things into the water?"

"He has a plenty of frozen assets, it'll take more than a rabbit to uncover them all - Carrots, what are you trying to do?"

Her voice muffled by the desk she was searching under, Hopps said, "There's gotta be someway to pull up something that would warrant a full investigation."

"That'll be your frozen corpse if you keep poking around! If you're trying to convince me you have a death wish, you're – "

The sound of a door opening and closing cut Nick off in mid-sentence and had Hopps tensing against the floor, as if she was going to spring off the grey stone. As feet pattered in their direction, Nick kicked the rug over the hole and gestured for Hopps to stay down.

"Daddy," the newcomer trilled. "Are you putting things away again?"

Nick straightened so he could smile at the shrew who had just entered from the rodent-sized door set behind the desk. "Well, if it isn't Miss Big. I'm afraid you've got the wrong mammal."

"Nicky? Omgawd happy birthday!" They exhanged air kisses. "But what are you doing here?"

"Well I was just – "

"Looking for the toilet." Hopps had chosen that exact moment to reveal herself and sidle up to Nick. She ignored Nick's incredulous look at her excuse to smile at Fru Fru. "Love your hair."

"Aww, thank you." Fru Fru twirled her hair around her finger as she beamed back at Hopps. The expression she turned on Nick was less pleasant. "Nicky, don't just stand there. She looks chilled out of her fur! Give her your jacket or something!"

"Yes ma'am." Nick shrugged his jacket off and draped it over Hopps' shoulders. Hopps _was_ shivering – he kept his arm draped over her shoulders while Fru Fru nattered on.

" – You'll have to go to the polar bear side of the house if you want a washroom you can use. You don't mind using a larger toilet than you're used to?"

"Trust me, she's had a lot of experience dealing with larger things than she's used to." He smirked down at Hopps when she glared at him for his insinuation. The effect was diminished by how rapidly her nose was twitching.

Fru Fru didn't notice. "Nicky, hold out your paw. I'll make sure you get where you need to go."

It was a good enough excuse to get back to the party that Nick took the out, even though the room hadn't been put back the way they'd found it. He stretched out his free paw to Fru Fru for her to clamber on.

Fru Fru's directions led them back to the lit parts of the house closer to the party. He could see Hopps cast longing glances at rooms they passed, but she stayed in the circle of his arm. At least Nick's warning had stuck. Now for the next part – if Hopps wanted to be delusional, it would be a lot better if she was delusional away from Mr Big.

That was going to be a lot harder. Fru Fru's directions took them right by where Mr Big in Koslov's paw was making small talk with various associates. At least Fru Fru was a common enough appearance around parties that Nick escorting her into the party would invite less questions than if he had come back with just a rabbit.

It still drew more attention than Nick wanted when Mr Big beckoned his daughter over. Nick held her up so Koslov could offer her his paw to clamber on. She hopped over with the ease of a rodent used to being carried around, and let Koslov bring his paws together so Mr Big could say to Fru, "If you wanted to join the party, you could have asked me to send someone up."

"Oh no, I was just helping them find a washroom in their size. Honey, the washroom's just that way on the right."

If Hopps was startled by being the sudden center of attention, she didn't show it. This part of the house was warm enough that her shivering had stopped, and the steel was back in her spine. Nick braced himself for a sharp comment that he'd have to cover, but Hopps said nothing.

"Oh, the performer." Having dismissed Hopps, Mr Big turned his attention to Nick and the way his arm was draped over Hopps' shoulders. "If you want to mess around, Nicky, you do it outside of the house, you hear?"

"Didn't cross my mind until you mentioned it, sir."

"Come back in, I want to see your expression when you try the cannoli."

Koslov started walking back to the party. From her perch on his paw, Fru Fru called back, "Remember, it's on the right! Bye!"

Hopps waved back, then looked up at Nick. "So, cannoli with the crime boss huh?"

"Carrots, was that the only part you heard? Mr Big just gave you a free pass out of here, so you need to go right now. My buddy can give you a ride, remember the short guy who laughs like a hyena?"

Maybe he had just imagined the steel earlier. Hopps was gentle when she shrugged off his arm and said, "I can go back the same way I arrived. Didn't you say you couldn't leave the party too early?"

"It's my party and I'll skive if I want to. Don't worry, a cake with a bunny inside it wouldn't have been the strangest thing that's ever been in that van, he - "

Nick was interrupted by Hopps' kiss against the side of his muzzle. When he tried to turn into the kiss, she dropped down from her tiptoe. "Happy birthday. Sorry, that's the only present I brought."

"After our history of kisses, I'm strangely disappointed by that one. You could give me a better kiss than that."

"I have to get back to my cake, and you have cannoli waiting for you." Hands tucked behind her back, she was already taking steps backwards. He wondered what from Mr Big's exchange made her so eager to leave - being called a performer instead of a cop? Cannoli? Or maybe she was just making the sensible choice, just like Nick should have earlier. "Have a good party, Wilde."

A polar bear had arrived with a glass of vodka much like the one Nick had left with Finnick. Nick turned to take the drink; when he turned back, Hopps was gone without even a hint of her white tail to give her away. Nick still tried to pick her out of the crowd.

"Koslov sent this," urged the polar bear.

Where was Raymond when you needed him? Nick slapped the polar bear on what he could reach of the polar bear's back. "I know, don't sweat it."

Nick wandered back into the party, past black suits and white fur, past the cannoli and the laughing crowd around it, all the way to Finnick in the corner with his phone. Finnick paused in his tapping at the screen – probably messaging Honey to hurry up and reach the party – and said, "The bunny must have gotten you good. What'd she do to your suit to have you ditch your jacket?"

"Mind out of the gutter, buddy." Nick tapped his glass against Finnick's.

"What are we toasting to?"

"To women," said Nick, and tossed back the shot to chase away the memory of Hopps' kiss.

**Author's Note:**

>  **To be continued in Pt 3: Mercy**  
>   
> 
> Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it! To the eagle eyed who noticed that this fic was briefly posted - I plead exhaustion from CNY festivities.
> 
> On the toast: The internet tells me the first toast at a Russian birthday is To your health, and that the romanisation is what I've written for Koslov's toast. I've taken their word for it, but corrections are always welcome.
> 
> Finally I can explain why Judy joined the force earlier. This verse shifts the timeline of events before the movie. Nick hasn't gotten around to buying a skunk butt rug. Judy joins the force earlier and meets Nick while he's still in Mr Big's mafia.
> 
> By the time the events of the movie roll around in the next fic in the series, Nick still hasn't bought his rug, and Judy has been a meter maid for way too long. The next fic also answers a question that has been bugging me - if Otterton was like family, why didn't Mr Big look for him?
> 
> It's not an easy question to answer, so updates might be slower than the usual. Comments/suggestions on the verse might possibly help the writer.


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